Holistic Kinesiology

Emma Sternberg

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Separation Anxiety….

01.25.2017 by Emma Sternberg // Leave a Comment

As a mother myself, I know the heart tearing and guilt of watching your child struggle with leaving you.

I also know the joy that comes from watching them skip merrily to their new destination, turning for a wave and off they go..

I’ve found that more often than not, it’s not the thought of you leaving their side that has them uncomfortable, but it is the thought of “what do I do without you”..

Small children lack the frontal lobe development to help them analyse an environment and make the next best decision for them. This means quite often, it‘s the unknown in their new environment that has them holding onto you. Their minds get overwhelmed with what to do next, or what steps to take without your lead, so holding onto you becomes their safety net.

So how do we help them overcome the fear of the unknown?

Here are some handy tools I’ve found useful for children over the years:

  • Steps 1,2,3! – Let them know the next steps to take on their own. i.e. When you get there- 1. walk in the gate, 2. walk up to “activity/location/person” 3. kiss good bye to mummy.
  • Keep drop offs consistent. Try and drop them off to the same person and to the same activity. This is particularly useful for small children at daycare.
  • Let them know exactly when you get back. Sometimes we forget that particularly with 2-6 year olds, they don’t have the foresight to know when exactly you will be coming back! “Remember I’ll be back after late afternoon snack/ sleep time/ the big hand gets to the 3”
  • For older children, let them know every human gets nervous leaving their comfort zone. Again find 3 steps to cope – “when you’re nervous 1. take a deep breath, 2. look for a familiar face, 3. tell yourself you can do this” . repeat!
  • If the anxiety is at home (i.e the child is worried when you leave the house)  – reiterate the routine you do with them. If you’re worried, do steps 1,2,3 and I’ll be home at this time. While I’m gone you can do 1.2 or 3.
  • “I’m in your heart and you’re always in mine”.. I love this chat and I find it so incredibly powerful. The purpose is to let the child know that we are always connected, no matter how far away we are from each other. Love stretches like an invisible cord, always connecting us. On either end, I’m in your heart and you’re in mine.. “can you feel my heart giving yours a squeeze?!”. I told this story to my Kobi when he was 2 years old and we were having changes at daycare and moving house at the same time. I would pick him up and ask “did you feel me cuddling your heart today? I felt you cuddling mine!”

 

Be patient with them and remember separation anxiety can also mask itself as silliness, laziness and/or anger at you.. look at the feelings behind the behaviour. Your intuition as your childs parent comes in handy here.
I truly hope that these tools help you and your child more through that separation anxiety and out the other side..

I would love to hear how you go!

Warmth and joy,
Emma

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About Emma

Emma is an holistic kinesiologist on the Mid-North Coast NSW (Forster)

Her treatments are personalised to make sure they're just right for you, and can overcome anything from aches and pains to addictions, as well as emotional issues and learning difficulties. More

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Emma Sternberg
Forster, NSW

Forster Health Solutions: 6554 8296
Ph: 0409 064 121 

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From the Blog

  • What If You Chose Bravery?
  • Emotions: A Force Of Nature
  • A Story For Separation Anxiety
  • Why Does My Child Have Meltdowns?!
  • What Do I Need Most?

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Our Spirited Child
The spirited child gets a bad wrap...

Meltdowns, Anxiety, ADHD, Sensory Sensitivity, ODD, Insomnia, Tics, OCD, Bedwetting, Insomnia... or just that bit more challenging..

You can see the brightness behind those daily struggles..but trying to understand the world that these children experience can be challenging

I would really love to simplify the world of "The Spirited Child" for you. After over a 14 years in clinic working with these children, I still love being able to help parents decipher what these children are trying to communicate through their behaviours.

I hope that this mini downloadable guide helps you to understand what's possibly going on underneath the surface and provide you with a few simple tools to make your days easier!

Warmth & Joy,
Emma Sternberg
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